Parenting

Popcorn in hand, I sat with my husband in a movie theater awaiting the start of the film Swordfish, starring John Travolta. We were excited to see it not only because it had a high-tech bent to it, but also because it had no animated characters or purple dinosaurs in it. At last – a night out for adults only. Or so I thought.

A woman and her two children entered the theater and sat down in the row in front of us. She explained to her children that she would be in here and that they should return when their movie was over. The children, two girls estimated ages 5 and 7, left the theater.

As my husband and I stared at each other in disbelief, a second mother walked into the theater with her three children, two girls and a boy estimated ages 4, 6 and 8. They sat down right in front of us, next to the first mother, and noisily got settled in as the movie began. The children were there to stay. Shocked, we contemplated whether or not to say anything because the movie was rated R. Since they were there with their mother (calling her “Mom”), it didn’t seem likely that our comments would amount to much.

The opening sequence of the film was as violent as they get: A hostage crisis that ends in disaster. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie because I was worried about the children in front of me. While they were showing no outward signs of distress, I felt even more uncomfortable because it seemed that they had seen this type of movie before. The mother must have sensed my anxious looks because she moved her children far away from us, to a spot in the theater where no other patrons were sitting.

The rest of the movie was equally disturbing, with scenes of extreme violence, sexuality and nudity. I couldn’t believe this mother wasn’t running out of the theater with her kids. How could she subject them to this? And how could the first mother send her kids off to another movie, not knowing that they were OK and that no one was bothering them in the other theater?

As a parent of three children, I can understand the need to get out of the house and divert everyone’s attention for a few hours. I can even understand the desire to watch an action film packed with intrigue. But I can’t understand how you can combine the two when you have your children with you. I can’t understand how you can give in to a desire to entertain yourself in that way when innocent kids depend on you to make the best decisions that will impact their lives and how they see the world.

We all know how tough it is to find quality babysitting, but there’s no excuse for taking your kids with you to an inappropriate film just because you can’t find a sitter. As much as it may be a drag to think of someone else before you think of yourself, when we decided to become parents, that became part of the deal. Remember – it won’t be long before your kids are choosing their own movies (and maybe even sneaking into films at the mall!). While they’re young enough to have you make their choices for them, make those choices wisely, and unselfishly.

I’ll always wonder if I should have said something to those moms, if it would have made a difference. So I’m saying it now: Put the best interests of your children first.