Parenting: Preschoolers

While strolling down the frozen food aisle recently, I overheard a mom telling her two children that they had to be very good and shop fast to keep the frozen juice bars from melting. The toddler immediately stood like a little soldier beside the basket. Even the younger child, sitting in the basket, stopped fidgeting, as if to help Mom navigate the aisles better. What a great trick! I watched in amazement as she pushed the metal basket quickly, but calmly, toward the produce department to begin shopping as her sons kept an eye on those magical juice bars.

We all have our tricks to make the dreaded grocery shopping trip as painless as possible. Beth Hespe, a mother of one in Newtown, Pa., has brought her now 7-year-old to the store with her since he was 2 weeks old. "I found the best way to approach food shopping with a baby, toddler [or] young child was to plan it," she says. Hespe has these rules for grocery shopping with young children:

1. Never go shopping with a hungry baby. Feed him first, but bring snacks such as Cheerios in a baggie to keep the baby occupied. Bring a drink in a bottle or sippy cup, too.
2. Be prepared. Try not to go to the store if you know you’Äôll have to change your baby, and keep wipes and a diaper handy for accidents. For children who are potty training, take them to the bathroom before you get to the store.
3. Bring little things to entertain the children such as rattles, books or stuffed animals (but keep an eye on them so you don’Äôt lose them) for smaller kids. As they get older, a book can suffice.
4. Never go shopping with a tired baby ’Äì let the baby nap first. Exception to the rule: Some kids can sleep anywhere. If you’Äôve got a sleeper, get your shopping done while they sleep.
5. Don’Äôt give in and buy toddlers toys or candy while in the store. Those in-store displays at the checkout and toy aisles are a killer (don’Äôt go down them). Once you give in, they’Äôll expect it.
6. Make the baby as safe and comfortable as possible. Some stores have baby carts with infant seats or carts on which you can put your infant carrier safely. For older babies who can sit up, you can buy cloth seats that Velcro on to a shopping cart and have safety harnesses/lap belts. It is yours so you can be sure it is clean and it will protect your baby from touching the "yucky, germy cart."

"Have rules as early as possible so that as your child gets older you can avoid tantrums about buying items like cereals, toys or candies they don’Äôt need, you don’Äôt want them to have or can’Äôt afford," suggests Hespe. Hespe also has her toddler help her with the shopping. "Get them familiar with the experience and let them help you choose items and put them in the cart, and make it fun," she says. And when it’Äôs rough, she advises counting to 10. "We all have bad days," she adds.

Kristin Townsend, a mother of two from Springboro, Ohio, says her 2-year-old prefers being in a stroller rather than the shopping cart. "I have found it easier in most shopping situations to use a stroller rather than a cart," says Townsend. "I personally think it has to do with the fact that they are busier looking up and around and out of reach of things that are high."

Townsend uses her stroller and a basket while shopping, and when the basket is full, she asks an employee to take it up front for her. "When I am done, I can collect my purchases and pay for it all at once," she says. "Most stores are great about helping mothers with children and will take the cart to the car for me."

• Make "fun stops." Visit the lobster tank, name the cartoon characters on the cereal boxes and stop at the deli counter for a free slice of cheese. If you make shopping an adventure, your child will be less likely to stage an escape from your cart.
• Sing and dance. The line at the pharmacy window won’Äôt seem as boring if Mommy is dancing the Twist to the store sound system.
• Be a good sport. When no one is looking, play basketball by tossing soft goods, such as toilet paper and diapers, into the basket. (Just make sure the eggs ’Äì and your kids ’Äì aren’Äôt in the line of fire.)
• Narrate your adventure. Use a funny voice to tell your kids what you’Äôre buying.
• Make a treasure hunt. Have your kids help you shop by giving them items to find. Smaller children can find the red apples or the lemon on the antacid bottle. Bigger kids can find the "x" in Extra-Strength Aspirin or the "5" on the 5-pound bag of potatoes.
• Give a door prize. If your kids make it to the exit without a big fuss, reward them with a sticker or some other small token. Bigger kids can put the sticker on a chart and work toward bigger prizes.

Stacy DeBroff, author of The Mom Book (Free Press, 2002), shares her shopping tips:

• Make a shopping checklist, aisle by aisle, of the products that you buy regularly. Arrange your list into categories such as fruits, vegetables, cereals, canned goods, dairy and health and beauty products.
• Feed your child before you take him so he’Äôll spend less time craving the sweets he sees in the store. Bring a snack with you, just in case.
• Start in the produce aisle, and give your child a piece of fruit to eat so he does not ask for candy or cookies.
• Allow your child to pick one treat per trip, or agree to spend a certain amount of money on treats in the store.
• When you go to the store, ask for a box or box top for small items that you buy lots of, such as baby food jars or cans of pet food, so you don’Äôt have to pick them out of your cart one at a time at the register.

Most stores now have safety belts on their carts, but if you find yourself having to use a cart without a belt, DeBroff offers these suggestions:

• Use a fanny pack and adjust the straps to fit snugly around your child’Äôs waist and the cart.
• Use your belt as a makeshift seatbelt.
• Bring your toddler in a backpack, which gives a great vantage point, keeps your hands free and makes it difficult for him to grab items from the shelves.

Tackling the store with little ones is something every mom has to face. By preparing and going in with realistic expectations, it can be a pleasant experience for everyone. And one day you’Äôll be the woman shopping alone and grinning at a younger mom using the powers of the magical juice bars.