Parenting: Babies
Use Baby's Senses to Create That Special Connection
It has been noted that babies are often very alert right after birth,
then sleep quite a bit for a couple of days. After that, it seems as if
sensory overload kicks in, and Baby begins to communicate in the only way
he or she can: by crying. This can be a difficult time for a parent,
particularly a mother already exhausted by childbirth, but there are
ways to "read" your baby's signals and learn to comfort her or
encourage her development without overwhelming her.
Bonding With All Six Senses Vision – Newborns have poor vision, but what vision they do
have is perfectly suited to the most important need in their new little
worlds: feeding. When you feed your baby, whether by breast or bottle,
his face is naturally about 10 inches from your own, which is the
distance a newborn's eyes can focus – although just for a few minutes.
Gradually, that time and distance lengthens, and Baby will soon begin to
reach for you and try to touch your familiar face. Allow him or her to
explore your face, being careful to keep sharp little fingernails
trimmed.
Touch – Touch is very important, because, according to A.
Christine Harris, Ph.D., of Sacramento, Calif., a newborn's sense of
smell and touch are as important to bonding as sight. Harris, a
professor of psychology at Consumnes River College and author of Baby's
First Year Journal: A Day-to-Day Guide to Your Baby's Development During
the First Twelve Months (Chronicle Books, 1999), says getting to
know your new baby and building an attachment to him is the most
important goal of the first few weeks.
Hearing – Coo softly to your baby, saying his or her name
over
and over. Emphasize certain words, "Such a good baby." Studies have
shown that women tend to speak in a higher pitched voice to a newborn
baby. Women with multiple children will talk at a different tone to each
of their children – higher in descending order of age. Women with quite
a few children positively squeak by the time they get to their youngest!
Smell – Baby strongly identifies with your smell. Again,
studies have shown that both newborns and mothers can identify each
other by sense of smell. This familiar smell soothes Baby and helps him
feed well.
Be careful not to overwhelm your baby. Watch for clues that he or she
is done with sensory stimulation. Cues include breaking eye contact, eye
rubbing, frowning, yawning or even a slight change of mood. Babies can't
handle sensory stimulation for more than a few minutes when they're very
young.
Not Peas in A Pod Believe it or not, this tiny, helpless, seemingly clueless little
person will give you many clues as to what he likes and dislikes. Most
babies love to be swaddled, but if yours keeps kicking off the
swaddling, give it up.
The same rules apply to playing. Some babies are
naturally more social than others, and some are more quiet and
self-contained. It's important to put aside any preconceived notions you
may have and allow your baby's personality to grow in its own way.
"Newborns seem so similar that it's easy to assume you already know
them," says Harris. "Be open to the fact that you don't know each other,
and whether this is your first child or your sixth, this child is very
different from any other."
Tummy time is merely a catchphrase for putting Baby on his stomach
for a period of time to even out his development. It's important because
babies who are always on their backs can develop a condition known as
"occipital plagiocephaly of positional origin," which means that Baby's
head is flatter on one side than the other from always lying in the same
position.
Because they spend much of their first few weeks on their backs,
babies will often fuss or cry when placed on their stomachs. It's
important not to give up, though, because besides preventing a
misshapen head, tummy time is important for your baby's overall
physical development. As Baby pushes herself up on her arms and lifts
her head, she strengthens her arm, neck and back muscles.
The best way to encourage Baby to stay on her stomach is to get down
on yours. Rub her back, talk to her, show her how to push up on her arms
– it may firm you up as well! As Baby gets older and more secure on his
or her stomach, offer brightly-colored toys for him to look at and reach
for. This will help motivate Baby to creep and crawl, which is the next
important step in physical development.
Newborns are amazingly intelligent and able to "play" by imitation.
Try some of these games starting at about 3 weeks of age:
When you are holding your baby, but he is not feeding, slowly stick
your tongue out of your mouth and then slide it back in. Smile at Baby.
Wait a minute and repeat. Baby will copy you after a few repetitions.
Hold Baby up to the mirror, your faces side by side, and look at him
and talk to him. He will recognize you and try to make sense of the
"other" baby. He may even wiggle and flail his arms in response to the
two faces.
On a piece of white paper, draw a very basic, black-outlined face:
Eyes, nose, mouth, ears. Allow Baby to study it. Babies love contrast
and recognize the basic features of a face.
Dangle a brightly-colored object in front of his eyes and watch him
track its movements.
Watch for the following signals that Baby is done playing:
When each of my three children was born, I couldn't get over how
perfect they were. I wanted to kiss their tiny hands and feet, stroke
their wrinkled little backs, bury my nose deep into their damp little
necks and inhale that incomparable baby smell. I soon learned that what
pleased me didn't necessarily please my babies.
Often, initial bonding information focuses on touch and sight, but
babies actually use all of their senses to learn about you.
"What babies do in those first few days is study the parts of the
face with the most contrast, like the hairline and jaw line," says
Harris. "Cuddling your baby, making eye contact during feedings and
skin-to-skin contact will allow the two of you to learn about each other
together."
Ricki Wieselthier of Orlando, Fla., knows each baby is different. Her
triplets, Zachary, Lindsey and Hannah, have always had distinct
personalities. She says she noticed it even during the first few weeks
of their lives when they were still in the neonatal intensive care unit.
"Zachary is still a charmer, Lindsey is still very independent and
Hannah is still such a sweet, quiet child," she says.
Physical Development
If you're following the current recommendation of putting your baby on
his or her back to sleep, then you need to begin to balance that in the
third week of life by offering some tummy time.
